hair conditioner works well for lube. don't use shampoo though; that shit will burn.

Cold cucumbers + lotion or oil will work great. I stuffed a cucumber up my ass for the first time when I was 12. I had to sit on it to get it in :p, but it felt great and I was gaping wide open for a while.

>>1619
this is probably a lie

just get increasingly larger objects of size when you can take one comfortably move up to the next size your next session

spend some money?
Hot water bottles usually come with the enema stuff for only $15. Getting myself cleaned out and wet inside helps me a lot.

>>1620
Probably not. I had similar experiences back then.

Definitely save up some money and spend it on some plugs or a couple toys of increasing size. Totally worth it.

>>1619
Tried that today, works really well, thanks! i'll also keep saving up for some toys and we'll see how that goes. How about keeping this thread alive as a tips-for-newbs thread?

>>1622

Unless you are SERIOUSLY broke (like if you're a 12 year old, maybe :P), you really don't even need to save money - you can get some pretty large stuff for very little. I mean, a Doc Johnson large buttplug is only about $10 on Amazon. As a cheap starter set, I'd grab something like that + another toy (maybe a medium plug, if you need to work up) + a bottle of ID Glide or the like. It would only be like $30 shipped.

Now if the OP really IS a 12 year old, well, I can think of a few other suggestions... :)

>>1634
Go on...

>>1634
nah, i'm 20, it's just that right now i'm living with my folks, so having sex toys delivered to my house isn't a good option. And I'd rather not involve friends or neighbors.

though i am interested in any ideas you may have regardless of age.

I would highly suggest a banana.

A banana is pretty tough, and yet flexible. It's not brittle like a carrot, so you don't have to worry about the end breaking off inside of you. If you need it even softer, peel the banana and just use the inside part.

After you use it, it's still good enough to eat if you haven't peeled it yet. Actually, I used to eat it peeled anyways, but that's another story. The fact that you can eat it means that it's easier to dispose of the evidence afterward, if you are worried about that sort of thing.

Just don't stick the whole thing in all at once, or else it will be very difficult to get out. But if you are starting out, you should only be able to do half to 3/4 of a banana anyways.

After one banana, try for two maybe. After two, you should be able to fist.

You can also try using your fingers, but that tires some people out.

Like a few people in this thread, I suggest a cucumber. They're usually pretty straight and quite long. PROTIP: laying upside-downish against a wall, you can grab it with both hands and plunge it in as far as it goes really fast; I usually get so overwhelmed I almost pass out (and you'll cum on your face too, if you like that). You can also find some pretty gigantic phallic veggies at farmers markets and the like, some types of squash even have these awesome bumps on them...

... damn vegetable fetish.

>>1666

Alright, 1634 here again, let's see...

You didn't mention how much anal play you've done so far, so I'll start at the beginning. My first 'toy' was a CD-R spindle with a latex glove on it, pulled into a finger. (I've come a long way from that point! :P)

My next stop was a pestle (as in mortar & pestle) in a condom with the end tied shut. Its dimensions are about 1" wide by 6" long. Took it all the way in on my first try, and was officially hooked. :) Another good one for around that size is the handle of a screwdriver.

A good option for progressively working your way up is using Sharpie markers. You can start with just one, and then keep stuffing more and more markers into the middle of the bundle until you've reached your limit. Use the medium point ones with rounded barrel ends for easier stuffing. You could also try ballpoint pens if you want to take it slow. Might be cheaper, too, if you buy in bulk.

If you're heading to the produce aisle, yeah, I'd stick with the cucumbers. Bananas are too soft for anal stretching - unless you've already used something else to stretch you to that size, you're just gonna end up mashing it. Cucumbers also have the advantage of coming in a wide variety of sizes.

You could also try some bottles. You'll probably want to look for one with a gradually-tapered neck, no abrupt bulges. Though if you get experienced enough, some like taking the flat end first. Or just grab whatever looks fun, like a Pom pomegranate juice bottle.

Most of these options will work best when placed inside a condom, which will smooth out any rough bits and generally make things glide better.

Then there's the matter of lubes. Others have suggested conditioner or lotion. Those will do the trick if necessary, but I think there's a much better option: Crisco. Stays put, nice & thick, and nice & slick.

One last caveat: be careful with your purchases. A grocery store receipt lying around that reads "cucumbers, Crisco, and condoms" just might blow your cover. :D

>>1670 Here.
>bottles
Be careful with these. Plastic bottles can create a vacuum and get stuck inside you, and glass bottles can break... You don't need me to show you Bottle Guy, do you? There's a reason dildos are made from rubber.

Thanks for the advice, guys. :D

still waiting for a chance to be alone in the house or something and give some of this stuff a try.

>>1681
The banana won't mash unless you peel it. If you keep it unpeeled, it is surprisingly resilient, and yet it has some give similar to a rubber toy which makes it easier on your anus.

From personal experience, candles work well. I've also tried a small lime in a condom. It's hard, yet slightly malleable, making it ideal for stretching. I say in a condom, because it is rather small, so tying the end of the condom and leaving it at the point where you can grab to pull it out is a good option in lieu of anal beads, lol.
More important, is the lube. I know people say conditioner, or lotion, or crisco, but honestly, none of those are meant for internal use (except maybe crisco- who knows with that stuff) so I'd honeslty invest in lube, I prefer the gel lube though, so it stays in place instead of running all over >.<

>>1732
Yes, make sure you use something meant to lubrcate; I suggest good ol' vaseline, you're sure to have some of that around.

Pro tip: use socks and condoms to widen the payload :)

They are nice and soft and can easily be added to.

>>1739
this is what i do
i put socks over cucumbers then finish with a condom. you can get them massive this way, and with the condom it makes them nice and smooth

>>1741
Vegetable weirdo here...

... dayum. Off to try this.

Great ideas here, thanks! Also, how does the internet suggest getting cleaned out for this sort of thing? Is there some special kind of enema wash you recommend? 'Cuz even if I use a water enema to clear myself out, things I try still have a bit of nasty on them when I pull them out...

>>1746
Veggie-tan here.

If you've got one of those shower nozzles that is on a hose and you hold, unscrew the head and lie down in the tub. Make sure the water temperature is warm, not hot, and NEVER turn it on full blast. Gently slide the hose in, relax, and turn on the water; start off low and raise the pressure as you loosten up.

Once you feel cleaned out, push any pieces down the drain and flush them with the hose. Make sure you're nice and clean, too.

Your colon is ready for a long, hard fucking!

I want to go deep, i have a 18" double header but can't get more than like 6 inches or so before i hit a barrier. I've tried lots of stuff, lying on back, left, right, bending down, squatting, and nothing works.

One time I tried steady pressure, but ended up just having red spots on my stool for a couple weeks.

>>1748
>>1620

I'm 1619. Yes, I really did stick a (slightly girthy) cucumber up my butt when I was 12. First big thing I ever tried. I watched a lot of porn and I just loved the idea...

Anyway, that "wall"... might actually be part of the colon wall if your tube isn't very "straight". Look down at your belly... Your rectum goes up about 6-8 inches and then meets with your sigmoid colon 1-2 inches below the bellybutton. The sigmoid colon often curves sharply to the left (looking down at your belly), so if you can find something that curves sharply like your colon does, like, say, a Kielbasa (Jennie-O makes good kielbasas for this), then it should be easier to get it through that curve without hitting much of a "wall".

You cannot, I repeat, CANNOT insert a rigid object like a cucumber up through your sigmoid colon (and further into the large intestine) without doing some damage. You must use something at least slightly flexible.

What I did was, while in the shower, lubed up a kielbasa with oil and then squatted and slowly, while relaxing, inserted the kielbasa with the curve facing left. I thought I'd never be able to take more than 8 inches but then and there I took the whole 16 inch kielbasa and it felt fantastic. I was 16 when I did this btw... pretty sure anyone can do it.


>>1668
Bananas? That's horrible. They have a scratchy end, break easily, are dirty and smelly, and their texture doesn't even feel good.

>>1750
You can just bite off the small scratchy end of the banana. Plus, they are smooth, so the texture is great.

As for the smell, I think they smell good.

I think bananas are the ideal choice for this. I think everyone has a different idea of the banana than I do.

>>1750
just lost my appetite for SAUSAGE, thank you very much (was going to have turkey kielbasa with breakfast) >_>

>>1758
You're on /li/... and the thought of a long thick sausage filling you up makes you sick?

>>1758
Lol... I get turned on whenever I look at a big tube of meat, but to each their own.

>>1759
Agreed, although the advantage to a standard kielbasa is that it's not very thick... Presumably just about anyone who understands anatomy should be able to take a full 16 inches of it.

Update: took a cucumber today! doing the sock trick now to up the girth. thanks for all the advice so far!

>>1771
Yaaaaay!

im in the same boat as gingerkid. still at home so cant buy anything proper. i ended up using beer bottles and the ends of deodorant cans.

i have a few questions though. im currently using the bottom end of a stella artois bottle and its a tight fit. it goes easy at first then i hit a tough point (guess thats the second muscle). once its past that i can get the whole bottom end in. about 5 inches or so.

it doesnt seem to be getting much easier though. are there any suggestions on how long i should leave it in? would it be better to use this particular bottle or would it work better if i used something a tiny bit smaller? im wondering if a really tight fit would be counter productive.

but yeah if you can get hold of one of these bottles (285ml) give it a go. its just the right size to massage the prostate when its in there. feels amazing

oh another thing is although i got it in and left it there for maybe an hour yesterday, it has been quite tough getting it in today. why is that? is there some kind of internal swelling?

>>1895

Careful with the glass dude, remember that gif with the jar?

You could use a normal plastic bottle (Like 50cl Coca Cola) or something. Remove the sticker and clean it, fill it to the top with pretty warm water and screw the cap back on. Makes the bottle much harder and warm :)

I tried it yesterday but I added some plastic-foil to the bottle to make it softer. Slipped right in with only spit as lube.

I've been trying to fist myself every night for the past 4 days. And I can feel how I'm getting deeper every day. It's very exciting.

>>2271
I remember when I first made it past my wrist. Such an incredible feeling. Your hand becomes a permanent option in place of a sex toy, haha.

I've got an 18 incher as well and even though I easily and frequently make it past the sigmoid, somewhere at 16 or so inches in, it stops and doesn't want to go the last couple inches. Any safe ways around this? I'd love to take the whole thing.

>>2271
(this is me speaking)
Yesterday I manage to insert a Mandarin orange wrapped into plastic foil. When it disapeard inside me I got worried that I wouldn't get it out. So I sat down on the toilet and pushed with all my strength. *POW* like out of a cannon it flew out of my body and made a loud noise when it hit the toilet.

Inserting round objects is scary. I remember when I was like 14 and inserted a 40mm ping-pong ball up my anus that I couldn't get out. I was afraid and was close to ask my parents to take me to the hospital, gladly I didn't. I just went to bed and slept, and the other day I shat it out.

I think I'm done with inserting objects that goes inside my body.

>>2275
Same for me, anything that vanishes completeley into my ass makes me nervous. I mean sure most stuff should get shat out and all, but yeah it just doesn't make me comfortable.

>>2276
>>2275
There's really nothing to worry about if you keep a cool head and don't insert anything really deep (i.e. past the bend into the sigmoid.) Anything that is inserted into the rectum can be pushed out the same way feces is pushed out. No reason to panic.

>>2286
Don't Panic. Thats the MOST important thing to remember when things go sideways

>>1620
I wouldn't say they'd work _well_, but by 13 or 14 I'd gotten to the point I could take the thick end of one of those garden tool handles that swells into a sort of large knob? I wouldn't recommend that, though - slightly rough wood, basically dropping my weight back on it, and not enough vaseline (also not a good lube!) made it really painful and I was bleeding a little afterward. In my case the pain was nice, but it's not safe?

>>2291
I had that kind of pain when not warming up enough and going in fast now and then. It's a bit like a cramp I guess and hurts, but in some ways it feels really good. Don't really want to do it a lot though, not that I could I guess. Since once I've put something up my ass once it's warmed up enough already then these days.

I've been thinking of what could be the best way of removing the excrement from my rectum without any "complicated" action. I saw a documentary on TV about "strange" people who don't live like normal people. And there was this guy who thought living like a cave man was a good way to stay healthy, just out of the blue he said "Drinking body temperated water works like a natural laxative". Today I tested drinking some water after dinner, 2 hours later I had a very long and rewarding toilet visit. This should be much easier keeping a secret than having to unscrew the shower head, putting the hose up the browneye.

>>2337
You still need to clean. If anything, a laxative is a stupid idea. All it will do is flood your colon with soft, poorly formed fecal matter. You want your feces to stay INTACT; if they're too soft and unformed, your hole will be harder to clean; more will stick to the walls, etc.

The ONLY way to completely clean the rectum for the most adventurous play is to do a complete colonic; clean out your colon with several gallons of water. And don't eat beforehand, otherwise it will just get dirty again.

i want to ask if anyone has any tips or information regarding sizing up. i cant seem to find any info anywhere. basically ive been stuck at a 20cm circumfrence for ages now, and on a good day i can get 23cm but it feels like im not getting any more used to it.

any tips as to how long i should leave it in there or how frequently i need to do this? is it better to stretch with a large item for a short time, or a smaller item for a long time?

>>2353
If you ask me, its about the shape and texture of your toy : The classic "pyramid shape" have a tendency to pop in violently at make you clench up. The wrong texture of the toy results in the lube being scraped of during use, instead of remaining like a thin film. Try something like "bed knob buddy" from TSX.
I wish there where larger versions of exactly this toy like increasing in 0.25" gaps for training.

http://www.stockroom.com/TitanMen-Rough-Rider-Advanced-P4354.aspx

What about this one? People got any vids or experience?

that shit'll tear a asshole UP....

The kielbasa broke :(